Birthdays and Me (contd...)

As the tittle suggests this post is a continuation to my earlier post... I am putting up my friend's (one of those involved in the incidents..) response to my post....

Response

Last year I had simply called him up on the eve of 2nd Oct, time pass u know. It was usual, he was depressed (as usual) due to some reason I do not remember. kuch der baat hua, he seemed to be a little distracted and impatient though. After well around ten minutes...

"Ab wish kar hi de...".

I was like ??????????. Within a fraction of a second I tried to imagine all sort of reasons to wish him. He wasn't married, so no way his wife could have passed away! Then, quite unsure of myself, I timidly took the safest route: "Happy birthday??" It was more of a question, expecting profanity in return. he thanked me. As Shakespeare wisely said, all well that ends well...

and before winding up i would write another incident on the same lines...

it was a monday morning.... and i got into chatting with a friend of mine... and here it goes....

Incident 4

Friend: Hiiii....
Me: Hello....
Friend: Gudmorning...
Me: yeah gudmorning... kaisi ho ??
Friend: Maja maa cho... (not the "maa-kasam" wala maa)
Me: How was your weekend ??
Friend: Mera birthday tha..
Me: *Silence*
Friend: Gadhe...
Me: *Silence* (Ghadhe ???)

Gadhe... such a nice word to use as compared to those #%$@!###$&.... thats what i like about females... they use profanity only when they are on national TV shooting for MTV....


Cron

Birthdays and Me

Incident 1

This is an incident which took place in the month of January this year. I woke up in the morning and it came to my mind that tomorrow is my friend’s birthday and unlike last year… this time I should not wish him belated. He is one of my close pals. Without any further delay I reached for my sophisticated cell phone (Nokia 1100) and added a reminder for 11:59 pm that night. At 11:45 pm I receive a call…

Friend: Hello
Me: Hi
Friend: Is everything okay with you…? (sounds concerned)
Me: Haan, mereko kya ho sakta hai…
Friend: To sale besharam… Call kyu nei kiya ? (curious now..)
Me: Saale, tu meri girl friend hai jo tujhe roj call karu..???
(trying to act smart..)
Friend: Mera birthday hai besharam (angry and irritated)
Me: Kaun si ghari pehenta hai be…? abhi tak 12 nei baje hai..
(Confident and proud of my own HMT watch)
Friend: Mera birthday aaj tha… not tomorrow.(disgusted)
Me: ????????
Friend: @#$#*&&@@###
(uses the most prestigious words he can use for me)
Me: ????


Incident 2

This is another incident which took place a few days later… I called up a friend of mine… another close pal… it was his birthday

Me: Hi
Friend: Hello (Expecting something)
Me: I had a doubt yaar…
Friend: Ya, tell me… (suspicious now)
Me: Is it your birthday today…???
Friend: #@$*!&%###@!!!$**##
(uses a GRE level vocabulary)
Me: Aare, I just wanted to confirm before wishing you…
Friend: #@$*!&%###@!!!$**##
(repeats his GRE level vocab)
Me: ????

Incident 3

I called another friend of mine... on his birthday... another close firend okay...

Friend: Hello
Me: Happpy Birthday to you... Happy Birthday to.... (Singing...)
Friend: #@@##$%##@... My birthday was 11th September, not 11th November.
Me: ???? (Singing stops)


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Pune Trip - Stills

Pune Trip - Day 3, Last Day

Day 3:

If you have grown up watching hindi movies (I am talking about the days when neither the khan nor the singh was the king, and even the most painful movies were less nonsensical than the present day ones), then you must be familiar with two places – Khandala and Lonavala. And just in case Murphy is at luck, and you have never heard these two words before, I assure, you cannot escape the scorn; not knowing what Khandala and Lonavala may be utterly blissful until some one discovers the truth, and categorize you along with the ones who liked the movie sawariya.

And if at all you have never heard of things like sawariya, ramu ki aag, bhootnath, etc etc… then let me admit, dear reader I am honored to know that you prefer wasting your time reading this crap, than watching such movies.


Today was our last day of the trip, and as you might have guessed by now, we were heading for Lonavala and Khandala. It was raining, and we were speeding on the Mumbai-Pune Express way. It was one of the moments, when I get a strong urge to knock the driver off his seat and grab the wheel. Rains outside, 6 lane highway, and KK’s 'khuda-jane' made the mood perfect for a long drive. Thanks to the resilience, Mr P is blessed with; we reached Lonavala, victimizing him all the way. Photo sessions at the spots, bhurji-pav, baby corn and coffee and we were heading for Khandala. Visibility was below 10 meters up there, and eye candies were floating all around, oops did I say visibility was low..??? ;) Less number of photographs and we were on our way back.


Left with nothing much to do before dinner, we spent some time at Koregaon Park, relishing chocolate pastry at the German bakery, and obviously ogling at the babes ;). For dinner we were at Rajwada… now that’s a perfect name for a restaurant… unlike ‘sadanand’.

And then this gentleman equipped with a PDA walks up to take the order… what seemed to be a bureaucratic demeanor at the first sight turned out to be aaj-kal-ke-bigde-hue-ladke types attitude.

But I don’t blame him for staring at customers with disdain… There can be many reasons for that… May be his ancestors never felt the need to smile and in the course of evolution, this trait was completely lost from their genes; May be he lost his smile the moment he saw his wife at his wedding night; or who knows may be he was forced to watch “sawariya” in his dreams last night… whatever it is, it is not his fault. After all there is one important thing, which he has much more than us, he would call it EXPERIENCE, but we call it AGE.

He started taking the orders and pressed the buttons on his PDA, with the attitude of a president in some country, pressing the “launch” button, to trigger a nuclear missile and felt equally bad for the innocent souls about to die…

We still had much energy left… two of us don’t remember, how and when we slept… but yes it was definitely dawn by then… we woke up late… that was when i came to know that Mr X had already arrived early morning, a small chat session, a continental brunch at polka dots... French fries and stuff packed for the journey and we were heading back to Bangalore... Within 4 hours of our journey we succeeded in eating all the stuff we got packed, and dumped the empty polythene bags at a petrol pump on the way…


Nobody realized that the 5 CD’s with all the photographs taken during the trip was also dumped along with the now- non-empty polythene bags…




Acknowledgments

Mr B: For writing the CD’s again and sending them by courier.
Mr P: For being the most coveted target.
Mr J and Mr N: For clicking 3 GB photographs in 3 days. That’s an achievement guys..!!!
Mr K: For coming up with biscuit or lays every half an hour, in the bus.
Mr A: For bunking office to join us from Day 1.
Mr S: For playing songs repeatedly in the car.
Mr R: For being the only one to crack good and sensible jokes.
Mr H: For a few good jokes once again.
Mr X: For traveling all the way from Aurangabad to meet us.
Mr D: For writing this crap.


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Pune Trip - Day 2, Lohgadh

Day 2:


I was awakened 30 minutes after I slept… and everyone else was almost ready by then. around 7 AM we started our journey to Lohgadh. Day 2 was reserved for trekking and adventure. The word “adventure” scares me most, when I hear it from Mr B and Mr J. We had no idea about the route or the place... my mind was oscillating between excitement and consternation. Within 20 minutes of start we were on the highway, it was drizzling; a short stop for ‘bada-pav-breakfast; victimizing Mr P all the way (which is our favorite laughter and entertainment source) we reached the outskirts of Lohgadh.

We stopped at a waterfall on our way, a few good photographs, a mobile phone in the water straight from the pocket, a contact lens in hands straight from the right eye(Thank god it fell in his hands..!) and we were back heading for the spot.


The first destination was a fort uphill… it was raining and we started climbing blocks of rock embedded on the copiously green surroundings, munching on chips and chocolates all the way up. Yet another round of photographs and we were done there; now we were to climb down the hill… from here you have two options – you climb down the same stairs decently or trek down along the course of the mountain, and we (me not willingly ;)) chose the latter.

I thought of the guys who went up the hill and came down rolling after… arre yaar I don’t want ‘vada-pav’ to be to be the last thing I ate… ;) One look at the route and my excitement evaporated instantly. The best thing about the route was that there was no route; I put on my jacket to protect myself from the thorns, gathered all my courage and stepped down.

We started following a thin strip of clay which kept appearing and disappearing at random in the beginning and disappeared completely after a while. It was raining, the soil below was soft and slippery. Mr A, Mr B, Mr J led the group in turns, deciding on the right direction to move, strategy to cross the streams on the way and helping some of us at steeps - difficult and scary. All of us were scared to an extent but Mr A, Mr B and Mr J kept the mood lively with singing talents and jokes till a “THUD” left us silent for a moment… Mr N slipped on a rock and fell hard on his back… sounds are deceiving too..!! thank god he was okay… at least he told us he was OK… the songs and jokes resumed once again…

Clothes coated with clay especially trousers, wallets drenched completely, a watch lost, some bruises here and there, the smile of relief finally. This was the only part in our trip where no photographs were taken…!!!

Next was a fort on top of the adjacent mountain, which was about another 8-9 Km climb, but the distance doesn’t make a difference when you have a old uncle walking along… okay it was his daughters we were ogling at… and that’s where the energy and motivation came from… ;) this part of the trek was smooth but grueling…

We reached home, cleaned ourselves and ironed the notes in our wallets. None of us had much energy left, we settled for a dinner at a nearby restaurant called ‘sadanand’, followed by a ‘meetha-pan’.


I think that ‘sadanand’ suits a decent, studious, school or college going kid or maybe a shy workaholic with spectacles and moustache… but a restaurant…??? Sadanand…???




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Pune Trip - Day 0 and Day 1

The trip begins....


Day 0:

It was day 0 for all, but for me it was day 1… the saga of ‘chopas’ starts right from the beginning… the rain gods were sleeping all the day, and the moment Mr J, Mr H and yours truly stepped out of the house, they decide to bless us with their holy showers… I do like rains, especially when I watch it pouring all over the green from my balcony on a Sunday morning, with a mug of hot coffee and ‘sutta’, but certainly not when I am dressed neat, and not carrying umbrellas or raincoats. As expected, there was not a single auto to be seen at the auto-stand where a plenty of them would stand idle under normal circumstances. I sometimes wonder how Murphy’s law achieves so much of accuracy…!!!
Auto kya, raste par to kutta bhi nei tha… we were the only ones walking in the rain, waiting for any damn autowalla to have pity on us… :(

We were late (according to Mr P, who along with Mr N and Mr K, was waiting for us to board the bus). We grabbed our seats, and the scanning was also complete by then. I showed 3 fingers to Mr N, he said there were 4… how can I miss one..!!! ;) Mr P wanted a window seat in an AC bus...!!! We always start our trip with a group photo in the bus and this was no exception… a few aunties and uncles from the front seats gave us the kabhi-volvo-nei-dekha-kya and uff-yeh-aaj-kal-ki-generation stares…


It was 9 PM, and we desperately wanted a dinner stop, more than hunger , our bladders were stretched to the peak of its elasticity… that’s one thing I hate about bus journeys. We had dinner, then post dinner (u expect some lays, hide and seek etc… when Mr P is on travel) and decided to sleep, but that was not the end of the day… we were in a tormented state for another 3 hours and it was not the bladders this time, but something more pestiferous. A movie called “bhootnath” was screened in the bus… ;( The bhoot in that movie can scare the leader of scariest ghosts, yeah the ones who come in your worst nightmares.

Day 1:

We reached Pune, 1 hour after a small stop for coffee on the route and a there were really 4 good-looking-chicks in the bus. We got down at a place called ‘swar-gate’ but I could not find one, it was an iron gate. Mr B, the host for the trip, greeted us at iron-gate (read ‘swar-gate’). We reached Mr B's home , and one by one, the bathrooms were occupied before I could even think of occupying them. I along with Mr P sat there devouring Mr B's stock of Mathris and Theplas which he always gets from home (I miss them so much dude…!), and waited for my turn for the bathroom…

Mr A (also the host) couldn’t suppress his excitement, bunked office after lunch to join us…!!!

A tavera (okay qualis tha… ;)) was waiting for us, after lunch we headed for the singad fort, and khadokwasla dam enroute. It was drizzling and we were drenched almost as soon as we got down, at that height the clouds were moving along and against us, climbing the blocks of stones completely wet and sides covered with moss, jumping on water splashing water on others… Mr J and Mr N were equipped with sony cyber shots and were all set to flood the orkut albums of atleast 8 profiles. Mr B was briefing us about the history of this fort as he has explored the place earlier.


We stopped for ‘matka-dahi’, ‘garam-garam bhajiya’ and coffee at a ‘tapri’ , an orange glow lit up the darkness inside, making it appear like as a spot of orange among the clouds and mist… nothing could have been better than that... It was already dark when we started our journey back, and the moonlight reflected on the wet stones provided enough visibility, the only danger being the steps… we came down saying “steps”, “steps”, “steps” in chorus, to indicate a step for those among us following. That was not of much use I think… but innovative though…!!! ;)

We got into the car, the visibility of less than 10 metres, and there were no fog lamps. I was relieved of my consternation only when we touched the plains… and that is when I realized Mr P had been the topic of discussion for last 20 mins…!!! Though I have traveled hilly routes couples of times, but drivers back in my place know every bend and turn by heart, even in dark nights they snake up the hill at 60-70 kmph. I underestimated the driver’s skill this time; cautious at the hairpins, driving at around 20-30 kmph we came down the hill smoothly.

After a dinner at Banjara hills, we finally reached home at around 11 PM, and all of us were equally tired, after a long bus journey, and the impact of last night’s bhootnath was still there… how can they make such a pathetic movie ?? If making money is the sole purpose, then go for real-estate business, share market… etc.., but why torturing 6 innocent souls, who are traveling 17 hours looking forward to a gala time. We decided to sleep and switched off the lights, without making much ‘halla-gulla’.

Wait this is not the end of the day, the day never ended but slowly transformed into another day…

While Mr B copied the photographs for the day to his laptop, he informed us Mr S was on his way (from Mumbai) and will be reaching at 3 AM, and he will go and pick him up. 12 AM to 3 AM, I guess that was the duration we three in Mr B's room slept. With Mr S’s arrival, I woke up and talks began, we (me, Mr B and Mr S) couldn’t tolerate Mr J and Mr N sleeping by the side blissfully, and pestered them till they finally surrendered…

I realized it was dawn…


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Pune Trip - Intro

Before I start with the so-called travelogue, let me put a few words of introduction for all of us…

Mr J: Deserves to be classified as a different species. Is found sleeping (read dead) when he-is-sleeping, and glued to the computer when he-is-not-sleeping. His computer is the woman in his life (till now), no wonder he spends the whole night with it. I won’t be surprised if he actually gifts me a C program on my birthday...!!!

Mr D: He is a potential guinea pig for Ganzfled experiment and scientists interested parapsychology. During exams, a person listening to music with earphones plugged into his ears in another room, distant enough, is capable of disturbing his studies, and that too, thorough closed doors..! Now that was interesting…?? a-gone-case, a-complete-moron.

Mr P: He needs no introduction, rather introduction needs him. He is next to Harry Stamper, when it comes to drilling. Oil rigs to rock ‘beds’ he has drilled them all. Always ends up making a wrong choice at the restaurant. And yeah, he expects the lions to be vegetarian, if kept in a zoo owned by him.

Mr B: I guess he is the first person to choose a nickname for himself and popularize it along, out of N number of ways to do something, he would go for the one that is at odd against the rest (considered unique), with his idiosyncratic style of doing things which he refers to as “bond-style” (James wala Bond, arre ha bhai… wohi 007), having said that, once he is into something, it certainly is going to be immaculate.

Mr S: Closely resembles a polar bear, hibernates blissfully in winters and summers as well. Apart for sleeping and taking on the phone, he also listens (and makes us listen) to “strings” over and again. He is an excellent and a lazy cook, and that’s where we envy your to-be-wife dude..! ;) The “eddy-teddy” concept if taken seriously can actually bring him some luck… who knows maybe it did..!!

Mr A: Has a HD (higher definition) for everyone… ;) he was the only confidant and consultant for all broken-hearts, and losers traumatized by the aftermath of break-offs, in the college hostel. Apart from that he is also Mr P’s consultant when it comes to ordering something in a continental joint, to which Mr P never agrees.

Mr K: Never discuss a hindi (especially shahrukh khan’s) movie with him, his disparaging comments with reference to the little details can actually convince you that Mallika Sherawat is as sexy as Medha Pathkar.

Mr N: He has always maintained a good-boy (and also good-looking-boy) image among our department lecturers (ladies in particular), which was as deceiving as pepsi mixed with wisky, taking into consideration his ardent photography in our kerela trip... ;) He is also Mr P’s present shopping and style consultant, to whom Mr P finally agrees. He can convince (read change his mind) Mr P…!!

(Though Mr V was not there for the trip, due to reasons inevitable, this post will be incomplete without a mention of him...)

Mr V: Its midnight somewhere around 2 A.M and we are about to sleep, we receive an SMS - “I am at the beach, its drizzling, in the company of stars…”, he decides to walk from beach to my place (which is around 10 Kms) "bare-feet", just because he felt like walking bare-feet. Like a telephone in a purani-haveli, any moment he can start singing raucously, mostly in public places like malls, bus… etc, the only solution to escape a public beating is - pretend you don’t know him. Yeah that’s Mr V for you. Dude we missed u and your singing talents bigtime..!!!


PS:
1. Some of the jokes are part of a sequence, and may seem rubbish. i don't deny the chances of the entire thing appear rubbish to you ;)

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Pune Trip - Prologue

You expect such pre-planning, planning, folders for every place we plan to visit, and finally a smooth execution; when the organization part is handled by someone who is ‘self proclaimed’ Bond 007

3 months of rigorous planning, word documents briefing travel plans and places, excel sheets covering the expenses to the minutest detail, chain mails, conference telephonic conversations and what not? The only thing left out was hosting a website, to make this event look like a meeting of diplomats representing different cultures and geographies, the most eminent of all being ‘Goona’, to discuss the contemporary economic challenges and social evils caused by black holes. (I guess u guys got the ‘evil’).

Yeah this is how a trip actually begins for us, it begins with Mr P and ends with him too, we discuss numerous concerns about Goona, and the inhabitants. The first step to this trip was triggered by me, the ‘self proclaimed’ author of this ‘self proclaimed’ travelogue.

You can never suppress your excitement, when you have waited much for a trip, to meet friends and roommates, who knowingly or unknowingly have blended to form some part of our daily selves. Staying together, we learn and share, and that is what reflects I guess?

But for heaven’s sake I don’t want the ‘black hole’ to reflect in me, as it does in one of us… ;)

After a long 6 hours at the office, finally it was time to set the ball rolling, yeah the khelne wala ball... My packing took no longer than 5 minutes… it was all about spraying more-than-required quantity of deo-spray on some dirty clothes, and folding them in a manner which takes least effort, space, and time. Now that’s what I call management…! Oops did I really say that… okay it was supposed to be a joke...;)

Already there were many questions ping-ponging in my head and then there were these auto wallas who refused to go upto the bus stand just because the roads are laden with heavy traffic, "block" is the word in vernacular, for a traffic jam. I hope these auto wallas get out of this state of complacency someday.

It was one of my typical XYZ-Travels journeys to Banglore, wherein every time I have taken this particular bus to travel this route, something or the other had to go wrong with the bus, and this was no exception. I don’t know where to make the emphasis; me or bus, so I would put it up as ‘XYZ-travels-and-me-banglore-journey’. But thanks to the XYZ travels, we were accommodated in the sleeper coach, passing by.

At the end of that journey I learnt one thing – “You don’t try repairing a Volvo bus, when the only equipment you have is a rechargeable torch and a mechanic guiding you over a cell phone, yeah that’s rechargeable too...!”

I reached Bangalore finally, and that’s where 6 of us unite and set for Pune, and the actual trip begins…

PS:
1. Excessive usage of the word 'self proclaimed' is intentional.
2. Some of the jokes are part of a sequence, and may seem rubbish.


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Damn it's not the flowers....!!!

In one of the rarest events in my daily life, I come across a “bachpan ka dost” and that too in a city where the only one I know since “bachpan” is the moron I see daily in the mirror…!!!

Yes it did happen today, was there at a punjabi dhaba for brunch… oops did I say good, “good” both in quality and “quantity”… ;) It didn’t take much time for me to figure out who he was… and there I was with the usual “Hey pehchana ??” (now I think I should have started with “peichaan kaun?”)

Rest of the conversation was around the usual lines of “wat u doin here ? blah blah..., we studied till class 5^th together, after which I moved to another school.

We studied till class 5^th, and still I remember him very clearly? If that’s what you are thinking, Yes he is the gentleman who introduced me to the whole process of “making babies” …the emphasis is intentional ;)

I recollect the day, I lost the innocence of my thoughts… ;), it was a sunny afternoon, and we were walking back home from school, when this guy who had recently acquired the “load of knowledge” from some cousin of his, started…

“Do you know how babies are made?”

“Haan woh to….” (Don’t start assumptions okay… ;))

Do u really think I am going to narrate the rest of the conversation here… ;)

Having done with his lecture, I was totally “enlightened”… we reached his home from where he waved me bye, my home was a 5 min walk from his. All the way walking alone to my home I was wondering about the new “knowledge” I had acquired and smiling at myself ... “damn it’s not the flowers or the birds”

(Remember the oldie hindi movies, they used to show the union of birds and flowers… and sometimes fire too..!!! Now that’s what I call “creativity” ;) )

And guess what… I have simcat tomorrow… n m doing this…!!! I told you about a moron at the beginning rite? ;)

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